You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
