her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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