I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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