That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My vagina just clenched in fear
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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