I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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