Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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