seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
