maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
God, I missed his penis.
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