Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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