I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
