So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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