All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
