i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize