Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
