how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
