the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
