someone threw a dead crab at me
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
