her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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