no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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