How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize