You really coming over, don't trick.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
