Just cropdusted the office
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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