I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
