I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
