I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
