Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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