Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
