It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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