Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
