Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
