Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
