just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize