Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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