i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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