Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have already put on my inside pants.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
