you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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