Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
