If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
