I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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