So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
