he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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