My cat gives me a boner
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
