i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
