We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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