i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
