Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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