Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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