just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I made him laugh his dick is mine
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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