this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
