Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
