Will you blow on my dice?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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