Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
