Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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