help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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