the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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