I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
