Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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