He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
