): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize