so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
