Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
True strength comes from lack of pants
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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