So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
