Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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