I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize