This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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