im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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