Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
