If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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