wanna go halves on a baby?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
bring money and cleavage
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
