I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
