what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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