very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
