so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
