i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
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