Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
