No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
