I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
