Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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