Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
