she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I wish there were birth control emojis
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
