I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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